Real Wise Friends

We’re off on our new lifelong exercise regimen! Our goal is to do a good hour-long workout 6 days a week for the rest of our lives. To the right is a picture of our home gym, which we are finally starting to use 2 years after purchasing the treadmill & weight machine. You can click the pic for a closer look. We added a stationary bike for Christine (yep, that’s her on the bike in her sweaty glory) where she pumped 5.63 miles today in 30 minutes, in spite of complaining knee joints. Some of that was at a very slow pace, but it’s important to remember that no one is in a hurry here. We’re committing for the rest of our lives, not just for a few months in order to lose 30 lbs. We’re in this for the long haul.

I did 35 minutes on the treadmill today, walking just over 1.5 miles listening to my favorite podcast, The Daily Breakfast with Fr. Roderick. I haven’t had enough time to listen to everything I want to listen to lately, so another big benefit of this new daily routine is that I’ll have the time to listen to more podcasts. I also walked the dogs for 15 minutes this morning, which will be a twice-daily routine. I feel great and I’m excited to have this new discipline in my life.

Here’s an audio recording I made on the plane last Tuesday on my way to Las Vegas for the Consumer Electronics Show. It’s technically my first podcast and it’s very low key (I had a bad head cold), without any music or fanfare, but it does describe my vision for Christine and I to become stronger and healthier as we grow older. You can subscribe to our podcast using the following RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/RealWiseFriends

A friend of mine recently recommended a book I’m listening to as I write this post. “Younger Next Year: A Guide to Living Like 50 Until You’re 80 or Beyond” by Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge, MD is certainly a timely read for me. I’m about to turn 53 and I’m a good 25 pounds overweight. I’m actually more than 25 lbs overweight if you go by the charts, but I’ve been over my “ideal” weight for 20 years. However, I now find myself about 25 lbs over my “comfortable” weight. That’s a lot of extra weight to carry around. Just pick up three 10 lb. bags of potatoes at the supermarket if you don’t believe me. No wonder my knees are starting to complain!

Being overweight is pretty typical for men my age, as our bellies grow larger and our chins begin to double-up. Yes, it’s typical for us Baby Boomers to become fatter, slower, and rife with new aches and pains we’ve just started feeling in the past few years. But it need not be this way according to Crowley and Lodge. We can CHOOSE to be functionally younger for the next several years than we are today. And we can continue to grow younger with each passing year into our 60’s

The basic premise of the book is that we each have a choice as to how our bodies age. Lodge contends that only 20% of our health is genetic and that 80% is environmental. That’s right, 80% of what we need to do to stay healthy and energetic is a matter of choice for us. Our bodies choose whatever state of health our brain tells it to. While it’s common for many people to deteriorate relatively quickly after passing the big 5-0, it is entirely unnecessary for this to happen. Crowly & Lodge insist that we can actually become more healthy, fit and happy in our 50’s and that we can stay that way into our 80’s and even our 90’s. They maintain that most of us are destined to live lives into our 80’s and that it’s our choice whether or not the final 1/3 of our life will be lived out in health and happiness or in sickness and misery.

Lodge points to 3 things that are essential for improving your health into your 50’s, 60’s and beyond: exercise, nutrition & commitment. Of these three, exercise is the most important. Of course, we all know this, right? So why are we such couch potatoes? Why is it so hard to walk or run a few times a week? Why do we avoid weight training when we know it’s key to keeping our muscles and joints in shape? For me it’s a matter of laziness. It’s much easier to stay in front of the computer for an extra hour than it is to go to the gym.

- Exercise is the greatest key…hard exercise 6 days a week. This will take some getting used to, as I’ve been quite sedentary for some time now.

- Eat good foods in reasonable quantities. Lower your weight by eating rationally, not by dieting. Exercise and a good diet are the key. And we all know this, don’t we? And what about drinking? Lodge advises that you limit your intake of booze, or in my case beer, to 2 drinks a night. Consuming more than this is a negative and a lot more can be quite harmful. It’s very easy for me to put away 4-5 beers a day, as I really enjoy the taste of beer. I know that drinking beer has become a bad habit for me and that it’s been a major cause of my slow weight gain over the past several years. Plain and simple, I’m going to need to give up drinking beer so freely if I’m going to take off 25 pounds and keep it off. I know this, yet I’ve done nothing about it. As a matter of fact, we probably know all too well the things that we do, or don’t do, that cause us to gain weight and feel sluggish. We just have to make a decision to drop these bad habits and replace them with good habits. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, we all know it isn’t that simple.

- Commitment is also key. This one really rings true for me. We need to be involved in things that make us happy and make a difference for others if we are going to live healthy lives. We need to be passionate about something. For me this is coming together nicely in my renewed commitment to the Church, feeding some of my less fortunate neighbors, and starting to blog and podcast. As I’ve said before, it’s easy to have good intentions about helping others and starting new ventures, but they really don’t help much until you put them in motion. We must be DOers, not just THINKers.

I’m told that habits take about 30 days to break or establish. If we can stop or start doing something for 30 days, there’s a real good chance that it’s going to stick. If we want to start exercising daily, we’ll need to do it for a good 30 days before it becomes part of our habitual daily routine. And if we want to eliminate a bad habit, it’s going to take a good 30 days to break it. So it seems to me that if we are going to get serious about improving our health and the odds of living a long, healthy life, we’re going to need to give ourselves at least 30 days during which we’ll struggle to establish new, healthy habits and break our unhealthy habits. After 30 days the healthy behaviors become habitual and are more easily accomplished as a matter of routine.

Crowley also discusses the importance of having the support of your spouse, significant other or friend as we enter the last trimester of our lives. I know first hand that this is true and I’m so thankful to have Christine’s support with all of this. Actually, she has been my inspiration to get back to work on my health, having lost nearly 35 pounds herself in the past few months. She’s done this by eating better foods, less of them, and with moderate exercise (she walks our dogs every day). I’m so proud of her! Her thought pattern about this also rings true with me in that she is in no hurry to lose weight. She eats pretty much what she pleases, just not in the quantities she used to. For her this is not a diet. There’s no pressure to lose weight quickly, rather she’s doing it slowly and steadily. She doesn’t FEEL as though she’s dieting, which has never worked for her for any sustained period of time. Christine is my true inspiration in moving forward with this new, healthier lifestyle.

Doing a little more research on Crowley and Lodge, I’ve discovered that they’ve published a few books along this line. The book I’m reading was written for men, but they also have a book for women and a journal. Crowley also keeps a blog that I suspect will be quite helpful day-to-day as I journey through this process of becoming leaner and stronger. I believe that Christine and I will soon start a weekly podcast about our experiences as we work to live this new, healthier lifestyle. I have some ideas about how we might go about this and I’ll keep you posted as we move forward with it. Hopefully it will become a source of inspiration for some of you to do likewise.

Stay tuned and please say a prayer for me that I’ll be able to hang in there long enough to establish these new healthy habits in my lifestyle. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I trust it will become easier and easier as time goes on and I feel better and better about myself and my health.

As Crowley & Lodge point out, the odds are very good that I’ll be here on the planet for another 30 years, regardless of my overall health. So I’m determined that these years will be lived out in good health and with much stamina. After all, there’s still so much I want to accomplish in this lifetime. If you are in your 50’s or 60’s, why not consider joining me on this adventure? Even if you’re in your 40’s, there’s no time like the present to begin to establish new, healthier habits. It will surely make a difference in your quality of life over the remainder of your years, so join me in choosing to be younger next year!

Happy New Year! In that today is New Year’s Day, I thought it would be appropriate to muse on a truth that has become very important for me in my faith journey during this past year. My hope is that it might help you too in the coming year as you ponder your faith and live out your own journey through this life.

I recently heard someone boil down Christian faith to a very simple equation: faith = trust. While the equation seems quite simple, its application in our own lives is anything but simple. Let’s face it, it can be difficult to really trust God in today’s world. Even the most devout Christians struggle with their faith and experience periods of dryness and doubt.

Dictionary.com defines trust as “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.” How many of us can say that we apply this definition of trust to our definition of faith? If we are honest, the answer is probably very few of us. So many people I’ve met use a the equation faith = belief to define their faith. I suspect if you were to ask 10 people to define the term “faith” in a religious context, 8 or 9 of them would equate it to their belief in God. Yet it’s been my experience that “belief” is much more of an intellectual experience than is “trust.” I know many people who profess to BELIEVE in God, but only a few of these folks actually place their TRUST in God. To me, trust is much more action-oriented than belief is. Faith is not just believing that God exists, it’s KNOWING that He exists, that He cares about you, and that you’re willing to bet everything on his promises.

The first definition of “faith” at Dictionary.com is “confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another’s ability.” There’s that word “trust” again. Faith is all about trusting in God, not just believing in Him. It’s easy to believe in God, but it’s much harder to trust Him. Nearly everyone who looks around this incredible world we live in will profess to believe in God, or at least in a “higher power,” who had something to do with the creation and ordering of our planet and universe. This type of belief is certainly a prerequisite of faith, but it’s not faith itself. Faith is something much more.

Faith is defined as “confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another’s ability.”

> trust is defined as “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.” The operative term here is “reliance.” Reliance is defined as “confident or trustful dependence.” Dependence is defined as “the state of relying on or needing someone or something for aid, support, or the like.” By its secular definition then, religious faith involves trustful dependence, or reliance, on God for aid, support or the like.

> “…in a person or thing: faith in another’s ability” - In order for us to have faith in God, we must first believe He exists. This generally goes without saying. But, we must also trust that He cares about us and has the ability to do whatever it is that needs to be done. This trust is the essential element of religious faith. It takes belief to another level; one that relies on God for everything we need in life, regardless of our socioeconomic status. Rich or poor, black or white, young or old, we can all learn to trust in God to meet our needs and bring us to the place where we are at peace with ourselves and with Him at the time of our death. We must all cultivate this gift of faith that sustains us in this life and brings us confidently into the next. It is through this divine gift of faith that we find happiness and fulfillment in life.

The Church teaches that faith is a gift from God. That’s right, true faith in God is a divine gift. It’s not something we can buy or acquire through in-depth study. We can memorize and quote the Bible verse by verse, but that doesn’t mean we have faith. We can profess to believe in God and yet never do anything more than talk about it. Again, it’s easy to say we believe but it’s much harder to put this belief into action in our lives. Words without works are essentially empty. For example, it’s easy to support the notion of feeding the hungry, as long as someone else actually does the feeding. It’s also easy to say we believe in God until the time comes that we need to trust Him to bring us through a difficult situation. It’s only through the gift of faith that we are able to put our trust in God in difficult times. And when we do place our trust in Him, we must be patient as He works out the details over time. Faith requires patience, another key virtue that I’ll write about some other time.

Faith is a gift from God that is offered to everyone…everyone who sincerely asks for it. For some people faith in God seems unattainable because they either don’t know they can ask for it or they don’t know how to ask. Many people say they have no idea how to pray and asking God for the gift of faith clearly involves prayer. Not knowing how to pray, many never ask for this precious gift and as a result they essentially live faithless lives. They depend on themselves to meet their needs, rather than depending on God. As such, they fall short of happiness because anything that doesn’t have its roots in God is essentially meaningless and void of true fulfillment. This is why so many wealthy people are unhappy. One can not buy happiness; it is only through this divine gift of faith that we find true happiness.

You might need someone to help you pray so you can ask God for faith. A good person to help with this is your priest or minister, or perhaps a friend who you know is a Christian. It’s not hard to do and doesn’t even require that you memorize anything. Prayer is really just talking to God about the things on your heart, knowing that He cares and listens. Praying may simply be finding time to consider God’s presence from time to time throughout the day as we live our lives, knowing that He is close and that He cares about what we do. There are many good books on prayer and I would ask any readers who can suggest 1 or 2 of them to do so as a comment at the end of this post. Bottom line, if we don’t ask God for this precious gift of faith we will never know Him or the happiness He wants for each and every one of us.

To experience true happiness we must graduate from simply believing in God to actually trusting Him with our lives. The gift of faith allows us to know for sure that God cares about us and that He always has our best interests at heart. It also allows us to truly believe that He’ll provide all we need for our spiritual nourishment and development. Finally, this precious gift allows us to put our beliefs into action, rather than simply talking about them and resting on the false security that because we believe we are saved. We must do more than say we believe. Belief is simply not enough. It must lead to trust and action if we are reap the full benefit of God’s most precious gift of faith. It’s available to us all, for the asking.

Today I joined the Knights of Columbus! This has been quite a milestone for me as I enter the Catholic men’s organization formed in 1882 to help widows and their children. The Knights have since grown to 1.7 million members worldwide. Quoting from the Knights’ web site, “Knights are Catholic men, 18 years of age and older, who are committed to making their community a better place, while supporting their Church. Being a Knight is more than camaraderie; it is being involved with your community; it is supporting your local Catholic Church, while enhancing your own faith; it is about protecting and enhancing your family life.”

While I’ve been recruited for the past 5+ years to join the Knights, I’ve never really been interested. This was largely due to the fact that I knew I could not join the organization in good faith, as my marriage to Christine had not yet been validated by the Church. A fundamental requirement of becoming a Knight is to be a “practical Catholic man,” which to me means that your life and beliefs are in alignment with the teachings of the Church. To me this means not just the teachings I agree with, but with all of the Church’s teachings. We were not in full alignment until the annulments of our previous marriages were approved and we were subsequently married in the Church. So, I’ve always had a good and valid excuse for not joining. Until recently.

Christine and I were married in the Church this past May after the annulments of our previous marriages were granted following a year and a half of review by the Nashville, Memphis and Montreal tribunals. As a result of their favorable rulings and our recent Catholic marriage, I now consider myself to be a “practical Catholic man,” one who is meets the requirements to become a Knight. So much for my excuse. Now I really had to decide if I was going to do this. The question now took on much more weight than it did before: to join or not to join?

While there are numerous reasons for a Catholic man to join a charitable organization such as the Knights of Columbus, there are few reasons I can find not to do so. I’ve heard the reason that the Knights are a “secret society” and I know some people object to being a member of a “secret” organization. While it’s true that there are organizational ceremonies and practices that members vow to secrecy, I believe this is done primarily to enhance the experience for the new member candidates and those who are working their way through the organization’s member levels. The secrets remain secret for the good of the organization.

Let’s be real about organizational secrecy. The U.S. military is a much more secret organization than the K of C will ever be. With its multiple levels of security clearance, a relatively few people in this organization know everything there is to know. And those who know what they need to know to do their jobs won’t discuss these things with others who don’t share their security clearance. Most of today’s large corporations are also secret societies. Believe me, if you are an employee at any technology company today and you reveal trade secrets outside of your group/company you will surely lose your job and you may find yourself in court. I really don’t understand the fuss over the fact that the Knights have some organizational secrets, especially when you balance this against how much good they do for their communities.

Young people in particular aren’t typically joining organizations like the K of C due to the fact that our society has changed dramatically over the past 50 years. Organizations such as the K of C no longer seem relevant to the social needs of young people in our connected, highly mobile society. Things have changed for sure. Far fewer people attend church regularly, let alone join a fraternal organization that is in support of the church and its goals. Young people have on-line communities of friends on Facebook, MySpace, and in their favorite chat rooms & forums. Perhaps the Knights and other traditional community service organizations need to find a way to embrace this new culture based on technology and mobility or face a slow and certain decline in membership.

Yet, perhaps they do not. Perhaps in the long run the Knights of Columbus and organizations like it will prove to be essential in the survival of those characteristics that make us truly human. With its practical dedication to the principles of Charity, Unity, Fraternity and Patriotism, the Knights make a difference in their communities by reaching out to those in need and supporting their local Catholic communities. They also support one another in a mobile society where so many people barely know their next door neighbors. The organization’s goals can be accomplished by like minded men with limited technological experience. You don’t need to use an iPod to be a Knight. We’re talking about helping our neighbors and our church, which is done most effectively in dozens of low tech ways at a local level.

It is my opinion that as technology advances, organizations such as the K of C will continue to offer old-fashioned social networking, a proven alternative to the on-line social networking we see emerging in cyberspace. These are places to meet and get to know your brother personally, in the flesh, and not within the somewhat contrived on-line world of Facebook, Second Life and other internet meeting places. It’s a place to affect good in your local community with other real people striving to live out their faith in practical ways. It seems to me that organizations like the Knights of Columbus are more necessary than ever in today’s high-speed on-line society.

So, my decision was to join. In my first day as a member I can already count several new acquaintances of whom many will surely become friends in the coming years. We will meet together with common purpose and activity in support of our community and we’ll have a good time doing it. We’ll also feel good doing it, as there is no better feeling than knowing you are helping someone who needs your help. By dedicating time to this organization in support of its various charities and good works, I ultimately become a better and happier person. You can be a joiner and still pursue your own interests and individuality. In fact, it is our individual gifts and uniqueness that make our membership that much more valuable to the group. We can make contributions that others can’t and are needed for the organization to grow. We can retain our individualism and use it to help the group accomplish its goals by using our gifts and talents within the organization.

The Knights of Columbus and organizations like it need us and they welcome us. They provide an arena where we can put our faith into action and provide real help to our less fortunate neighbors in our local communities. There is no higher calling than helping your brother in need. Seriously, consider being a joiner. It will make a difference for you and for others who will benefit from your contributions. As the saying Nike popularized goes, “Just do it!” Life is really much shorter than it seemed when you were younger. We only have this one life to make a difference. Let’s make the most of it while we still have the time and health to do so.

Dishonest people can be some of the friendliest folks you’ll ever meet. This past weekend we met a real nice couple whom we later discovered really weren’t very nice at all. They were only friendly because they were interested in making a few bucks on some shoddy farm animals they thought they could offload on an unsuspecting and inexperienced mini-farm owner. They suckered us in, but with a knowledgeable neighbor’s help we quickly learned we had been had. Fortunately we had paid by check, not cash! Otherwise we may never have seen them again. It was quite an ordeal and you can read all about it in Christine’s blog.

In a way this ordeal reminded me of what we learned in a VIRTUS class, a child-abuse awareness training program required by the Diocese of Knoxville in order to work with the youth. Here we learned that child predators are typically “nice” people who are either relatives or close friends of the family. It’s very common that these abusers are seemingly normal people who are friendly with their victims. Using a similar technique used by pedophiles to gain a child’s confidence, our new friends took advantage of our inexperience and naivety to dupe us into buying into something that was not in our best interest. They were friendly and took the time to gain our trust. Once we trusted them, we trusted their suggestions. Just like a child trusts a pedophile, our inexperience was exploited and we were taken advantage of by these friendly people.

We run our business differently. We’re guided by the principle that we should always be honest with people, no matter what. And we don’t take advantage of people. For example, if someone wants to do something with our lights that we don’t think is worth the money, we tell them so. If a potential customer tells us they will be painting their gas tank in a month, we tell them to wait and add the lights after they paint the tank. We also offer a lifetime warranty on our product and if someone has a problem we honor that warranty, immediately. We strive to always be honest with customers & potential customers, looking out for their best interests rather than our own. We’ve learned that by looking out for their interests we also benefit by locking in a loyal future customer and quite possibly his friends. It just makes good business sense to be honest with your customer and to be on his side. Customers will always speak well of you and continue to reward you with their business if you treat them the same way you would want to be treated as a customer.

Unfortunately, not everyone runs their business this way. My advice to you is to be always be on guard and wary of real nice strangers. It’s often the nicest people who have a hidden agenda and are looking for an opening to take advantage of you. Just because someone is nice you shouldn’t blindly trust them. This is tough advice for me to give because I consider myself a nice, friendly and trustworthy person. I hope my actions allow people to trust me long after they meet me. Being a genuinely nice person is very different from being a manipulative person who is friendly. Because I am a trustworthy person, my instinct is to trust everyone. Unfortunately not everyone is trustworthy and you have to be careful who you trust. Some of the nicest people turn out to be the biggest crooks.

As this great Thanksgiving holiday rapidly approaches we are reminded of all we have to be thankful for. Since last Thanksgiving Christine and I have had so many good things come into our life. We’ve also had our share of difficulties and disappointments. But overall our attitude toward all that has happened to us is one of gratitude. We are so thankful for so many lessons we’ve learned and for the genuine surprises of life.

We’ve had our share of surprises this year. A year ago my mother was alive and doing reasonably well, although she was quite far along with terminal cancer. She passed in January and our frequent trips to Michigan to visit Mom came to an abrupt halt, which took some getting used to. It was as if we had a big hole in our hearts that Mom used to fill. This year I’m thankful that she passed peacefully and that Christine and I were blessed to be with her for the last few days of her life.

Mom’s passing and my inheritance allowed us to resolve a personal financial matter that now frees our income to finance the building of our house. We’re so thankful and genuinely surprised that everything worked out the way it did. This year I am thankful for the resolution of this difficult financial matter in a just and equitable fashion. I’m also thankful for how this has freed up resources to allow us to actually move forward with our dream home and Christine’s lifelong dream hobby.

Another major milestone and cause for rejoicing this year was our Catholic wedding. Christine and I were married in the Catholic Church on May 26 after 8 years of civil marriage. We were both granted our annulments from our previous marriages this year and we wasted no time getting married. This is something that was very important to us and we are so thankful that the annulments were both granted and that all of our children and grandchildren were able to attend the wedding.

Speaking of weddings, Christine’s daughter was also married this summer in Ottawa, Canada. Karyne and Jeff are an incredible young couple who will do very well in life. I’m honored to be Karyne’s step dad (she’s such a good kid) and an extended member of Jeff’s fine family. I am thankful to be part of Christine’s family and for having had the pleasure of attending the wedding and associated festivities. I am incredibly thankful for family this year.

Another family highlight was the birth of our 1st grandson, who is also our 3rd grandchild. We also received news just this week that Marion is pregnant with her 3rd, so #4 is on the way! We are so thankful for the lives of these kids who are sure to continue to brighten our lives as we enter our retirement years. We are also thankful to know they will carry on when it’s our time to pass from this life into the next. We are especially thankful for life itself.

We had a good business year this year while many other vendors in the motorcycle industry experienced a decline. We’ve had a difficult year with staffing, but we now have those matters resolved and we are pleased with the new team. I’m thankful for the business’ performance and for a reduced travel schedule. I’m thankful that we got through our difficult staffing matters and that our new team is working out well. I’m thankful for those who help us throughout the week in one way or another.

I’m thankful to be “semi-retired” and able to work on projects that are of interest to me. I’m thankful to continue to learn new things and particularly for my new knowledge of and participation in the world of podcasting. I’m so thankful for the Internet and for cool new technology and communication tools like Twitter, Facebook , Ning , WordPress and others.

Is it weird that I have so much to be thankful for this year? As I write this I’m thinking that it’s incredible for so many good things to have happened in my life in one year. I’m also thinking that I’ve ALWAYS been able to find much to be thankful for, even in those rather uneventful years. I believe my lifelong attitude of thankfulness has prepared me to humbly receive this year’s many blessings. I truly stand in awe of God and how He works in the lives of those who seek Him. I am MOST thankful this year for my faith and for God’s infinite mercy.

So now that you know what I’m thankful for, what about you? You may not be getting married or building a house, but I’m sure you’ve had some good things happen in your life recently. There’s a high probability you’ve had some difficult times too, but be thankful for them as good will surely follow. Take a minute and let everyone know what you’re thankful for this year. Then work on cultivating an ongoing attitude of thankfulness that will surely result in a happy and blessed life.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here’s a thought for a Sunday afternoon. Adopt a neighbor. Think of a person or family who lives near you and then think of something they need that they just can’t afford or figure out. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but there should be a little pain in doing it. Maybe this “adoption” will stretch your finances slightly, or it might take some of your precious time. And I mean that…our time is precious. Maybe it will challenge you emotionally in some way. Whatever it is, there needs to be a cost of doing it for you to get the full benefit of the neighborly act.

I suppose what you provide could be anything one might need. It could be some groceries, a tank of gas, a winter jacket, or even help using a computer. It might be that your neighbor needs a friend to listen to him and he has no one. The thing to think about is what does this person or family need that I can provide? Or you might work the other way and identify what you have to give and then find someone who needs some of that. Either way, the idea is to help relieve someone else’s pain by sharing something you have. It’s such a simple concept and it feels so good to do!

Here’s what I do. I have a neighbor, Ernie, who has been in a wheelchair for many years. He’s in his mid-40’s and lives in a true redneck shack that is the epitome of poverty. I’ve driven by Ernie’s house nearly every day for the 6 years we’ve lived in Spring City. For the first 3 years living here, I would wave to him when he was out on his front ramp. I always told myself that I needed to stop and meet him. I didn’t even know his name. One day I did stop. Ernie was happy to officially meet me and learn where exactly I lived.

I began to stop and visit with Ernie for a short while every so often. If he was outside and had no other visitors, I’d stop on my way by and chat for a few minutes. Ernie was always happy when I stopped and soon he began to share some of his life experiences and challenges with me. For some reason Ernie trusted me. Even though he had a lot of people who visited him daily, he really didn’t seem to have many close friends. He grew up in town, so he knows most of the locals. His house seemed to have the reputation of being the place to go if you wanted to drink beer and hang out during the day. From my visits I could see that Ernie was not eating well and that his “friends” didn’t seem to be helping much. I began to think about how I might help Ernie get enough to eat.

Ernie is on disability and collects a meager check from the government every month. He doesn’t get food stamps and I thought this might be a way to help. So I visited the local social services office on his behalf and got the forms you need to apply. We filled out all the information regarding his income and expenses. After paying his rent, electric and phone bills, Ernie had little left for food. Especially when you consider that Ernie likes beer and he’ll fill up on that before filling the fridge with more nourishing fare. In any case, I figured we could get him at least $100-$200 worth of food stamps each month considering his income/expense ratio. Seemed like a slam dunk.

Guess again. He only qualified for $10 of food stamps per month. This was unbelievable to me. Ernie told me this was going to be the case, but I didn’t believe it. Last time he applied it was the same thing. I found myself outraged and thinking that I just don’t understand how we as a society expect people like Ernie to get by. Well, somehow they do get by…barely. But they survive on cheap carbs and their health deteriorates much faster than someone who eats a more balanced diet. It’s just not right. So I decided to act.

I knew I couldn’t change the system, at least not quickly enough to help Ernie. So I decided to shop for him every couple of weeks. I found this great grocery list and gave it to him so he could tell me what he needed. I picked it up the next day and guess what? He needed EVERYTHING. Of course, I knew that. I headed off to Walmart and returned with enough groceries and household supplies to turn your head. Ernie was dumbfounded. He didn’t think I would really buy all these things for him. He was so happy and I felt great, even though I hate to shop. Remember how I said there had to be a little pain involved to really benefit from this? Shopping is really a pain for me.

About 2 weeks later I printed another shopping list and dropped it off with Ernie on my way by. He now had a girlfriend living with him. Hmmm, I thought, now I have to buy groceries for 2 people. I didn’t count on this. She was very nice and assured me that she was a good cook and would be sure not to let any of this food go to waste. That made me feel better and shopping for two is really about the same as shopping for one, I suppose. I figured she wouldn’t be there too long anyway. The chances of this relationship working out seemed quite slim to me, but that’s not the point. Here were two people who needed to eat and I knew I could help.

Well, long story shorter, after about 5 months his girlfriend still lives with him and the daytime beer drinkers are nowhere in site. Ernie told me she would be whipping the place into shape and it looks like she has. I happened to shop for them today after Mass, but I really didn’t feel like shopping and I only got them the essentials…no list today. They were so happy when I dropped off the groceries. They mentioned how they hadn’t seen me in a few weeks (yes, it’s been since early October that I last shopped for them) and I assured them that I hadn’t forgotten them. I’ll probably drop off a grocery list this week and shop again for them next weekend. I’ve learned the important life lesson that you must often do something you really don’t “feel” like doing, just because it’s the right thing to do. Things always work out much better when you follow through on your commitments and responsibilities.

In summary, try to figure out what YOU can do, who you can adopt. It will most certainly make you a better person and it really helps you sleep at night. You’ll take comfort in the fact that you’ve done SOMETHING you didn’t have to do, but you did it anyway because you care about your neighbor. Imagine if just a small percentage of people would do SOMETHING for a neighbor. What a wonderful world it would be.

Christine and I had the pleasure of a visit from our former pastor, Fr. Gilbert, yesterday afternoon. He’s on my friends email list and receives the messages I send about progress on our log home and barn. He’s now the pastor of St. Stephen in Chattanooga, about an hour and 15 minutes from here. He’s been following our progress and accepted our invitation to come and visit.

After showing Fr. Gilbert around, we relaxed up at the house and made a reservation at our favorite restaurant in Dayton, Fehn’s. It’s located in an old Victorian house that originally served as a Catholic school. On our out the driveway, Christine thought we should call Fr. Sam to see if he was available to join us. He agreed and we were thrilled. Fr. Sam is the pastor of our parish, St. Bridget Catholic Church. We told him we’d be there in 20 minutes to pick him up. We were stopped for a train, so I jumped out of the car and ran back to tell Fr. Gilbert, who was following us. He thought it was a good idea, so it was done. We picked up Fr. Sam, dressed in a Boogey Lights t-shirt, and we were off to Fehn’s.

We arrived at Fehn’s at our appointed time of 5:45 and were seated immediately by Renae, a friend of ours and a parishioner of St. Bridget for about 35 years. She’s is an amazing woman in her mid-70s with lots of energy and ready for another relationship after losing her husband a few years ago. Of course she was happy to see Fr. Gilbert again and she was on her best behavior for Fr. Sam. She’s a hoot.

We each had an excellent meal, as always at Fehn’s. We enjoyed each other’s company and the stories each had to share. It was very a very relaxed setting, although Christine told me on the way home that the couple at the next table was giving her the evil and rolling eyes as we laughed and spoke rather loudly. All three of us guys can be quite loud and Christine has also been known to join in from time to time. I guess this couple was looking for a quiet setting and they were not appreciating the “noisy” people sitting next to them. We must have ruined their planned romantic evening. Fehn’s can be a little snooty and here we are in very casual attire - remember Fr. Sam’s Boogey Lights t-shirt? - having a good time in a small dining area with just 4 tables. I feel bad about this now and please forgive us if we ruined your evening, but we did have a great time.

We’ve always made an effort to be a friend to our priest, wherever we have lived. The easiest way to do this is to invite him over for dinner. We’ve had some awesome times around the dinner table with our pastors and other priest friends. I also feel blessed to have found and met Fr. Roderick, whose SQPN network is growing rapidly. (See my previous blog entry on podcasting). I was privledged to share 2 meals with Fr. Roderick and several with Fr. Jay, the iPadre, while attending the Podcast Expo in Ontario, CA in September. It’s so good to keep company with these people dedicated to God and living it out in simple, yet heroic ways.

Do yourself a favor and make friends with your priest. If you don’t have a priest, adopt one! You’ll make a friend for life and it will change your life for the better. Priests make great friends. And so do deacons, sisters, brothers and other religious. I can highly recommend that you get to know one or more today. These are friendships that will surely make a difference in your outlook on life.

This past week has been extremely difficult for me. As a matter of fact, the entire month has been a real doozey. October 2007 will be remembered as the month we lost both of our employees, one of whom we’ve always considered to be a good friend and confidant. Through all of this we’ve learned a very important life lesson: Friends should not be employees and employees should not be your friends.

Sounds a little harsh, doesn’t it? Especially the part about employees not being your friends. The truth is you’ll be much better off in the long run if you don’t move your employees into your circle of friends. It’s very tempting to do this, especially if the employee wants to be your friend and you also desire friendship. When running a small business such as ours you really don’t get out much. As a result, it’s difficult to make new friends. And we all need friends. So, a receptive employee is a very convenient person to think of as a friend. You see them every weekday, spend a lot of time together and, over time, share a great deal of information with them. It’s so easy to have this business relationship turn into a friendship. But watch out! This will eventually come back to bite you.

Why is this true? I believe it has something to do with the old saying that “familiarity breeds contempt.” An employee who has been with you for a period of time becomes very familiar with you and your business. In the beginning this employee is appreciative of the opportunity to work for you, especially if the work environment is clean & professional and the pay is good. He wants to please you and will do most anything to shine in his new position. Over time things change.

As time marches on the employee begins to feel as though he is not appreciated for all that he does, even when paid well for doing it. Often he will commiserate with another employee about how he deserves more for all that he contributes, even though he is already appreciated and well paid. There is a natural tension that develops between the employee and the employer as the company grows and enjoys success. No matter how much vacation time, flex time or bonuses the employee receives for his part in this success, it’s never quite enough. They feel as though they are entitled to more, or a least to some sort of special treatment. When they don’t get more, or when they see someone else get rewarded for a job well done, this leads to feelings of jealousy or of being unappreciated and he’ll typically begin to slack off on his duties. Before you know it, the well-paid employee’s performance is in the toilet and they just don’t care like they once did. If this happens and they are also your friend, things can get really ugly.

For the employer, it’s always difficult to confront a friend with performance concerns, as the tendency is to cut them some slack rather than to confront them. You tend to be more lenient with a friend than you are with an employee. As a result, the business suffers when the friend is not doing his job well. When confronted with job performance concerns, the employee/friend is generally in denial. They believe they are doing a great job for you and that you are the one with a problem. They believe you just don’t appreciate them enough and this is the real problem. Because they view themselves as your friend more than your employee, they believe they should have special treatment and that you’re criticism of them is simply no way to treat a friend. When it comes to how they react to your criticism, they forget they are an employee first and a friend as a result of employment. They become indignant that you would criticize a “friend” this way, even when done with care and sensitivity. Ironically, most will then assume the role of disgruntled employee and tell you to take your job and shove it. The friendship is over, or at least damaged, and the employee leaves thinking that they have been wronged. Yes, it can be ugly.

So, how do you avoid this happening in your business? Well, some of it can’t be avoided. It’s this thing called “human nature” that gets in the way and seems to cause people to take for granted that which is familiar to them and to expect more & more the longer they are in the job. People are complex and personnel problems are inevitable in any company. You can minimize this, however, by making it clear to your employees that you are not their friend, you are the boss. Bottom line, don’t treat your employees as friends. Treat them well, but draw the line clearly so they are not offended when their performance needs to be addressed. I believe an employee will be around in the job much longer than an employee/friend will ever be. The employee will also be happier as an employee as they won’t have expectations of receiving special treatment, as a friend might expect.

My advice to employers is that if you need a friend, get a dog. They are much more loyal than an employee will ever be and they are always appreciative for the things you do for them. Employees as friends? Never again.

The idea for my show is to conduct a 20-30 minute interview with people I’ve known in my lifetime, past or present. I’ll be contacting all sorts of people and asking if I can interview them for the show. They’ll include: corporate executives, successful business owners, priests, my Tennessee farmer neighbors, car salesmen, factory workers, and people from many different walks of life. I can’t even tell you how many interesting people we’ve met in our 6 years of selling Boogey Lights at motorcycle rallies. There are likely to be some very interesting interviews with these many different friends.

I’ll ask each of my guests to share a bit about their background and current interests, then I’ll ask them to relate a story about an experience that resulted in a lesson learned. For example, they might tell a story about something that made them very happy and what they’ve learned about life from that experience. Some will undoubtedly talk about a very difficult experience through which they learned some of life’s lessons. I’m not sure exactly where it’s going to go, but I’d love to get your comments as to what you’d like to listen to along these lines. This audio show will be distributed as a podcast in an MP3 file. I’m still trying to create the format of the interviews and I’ll soon be testing call-in interviews using Skype.

I’ve been learning a great deal lately about podcasting and audio recording in general. The Podcast Expo in Ontario provided tons of information that I’ve been sorting through and putting to use. This blog is the result of one of the expo sessions where Tee Morris of “Podcasting for Dummies” fame plugged WordPress and DreamHost. DreamHost made it really easy for me to not only host the domain, but also to install WordPress. I had it up and running in literally 30 minutes. I should be ready to go when we move into the house in April. I’ll have my new “sound proof” studio with a pretty good start on equipment. Tee shared a lot of “good-better-best” info for each of the various components. I plan to start slow and I already have a mic and a firewire mixer, but I believe I may need a second mic for studio interviews and a compressor to control the audio levels. Two boom mic stands will also be a must for total mic placement flexibility. After these additions I should have what I need to put out quality audio that should be at least technically pleasant to listen to.

I’m still not sure what software I’ll be using to edit and produce the show. If I use my Vista PC, I’ll most likely use CastBlaster. If I decide to use the iMac, I may go with GarageBand. There are some really sophisticated packages, but I think it’s overkill for what I plan to do. I’m leaning toward CastBlaster now, but I really need to put my Mac to work. The Mac is also the best platform in the future for video production if we ever do more with that. Any thoughts?

We head to Daytona for Biketoberfest Sunday morning. Last rally of the year!

Welcome! Join me in toasting a regular podcast I’ll soon be producing in which I’ll interview real friends from my past and present, as well the people I meet in the future whom I expect to count among my friends. I’ve started this blog in preparation for the launch of the podcast. My recent trip to the Podcast Expo was partly in search of what I might be able to do with technology to contribute to a better world. My other reasons for attending the expo were to learn all about podcasting and to meet my favorite Catholic podcasters. I feel very blessed to have been inspired to start this podcast on the plane on my way home. I even registered the domain name in the airport while having lunch in between flights!

I’m in the enviable position of having the opportunity to build a new recording studio in the basement of the log home we’re building, so I’ll most likely start podcasting in the Spring. In the meantime I’ll post a few blog entries and ask for your feedback on my direction.

Earlier this year I wrote the following blog entry on the BoogeyBoard describing my vision for podcasting. We’ve since moved the BoogeyBoard to Facebook, so check it out.

My original post on podcasting:

You may have heard the term “podcast,” but I find that most people really don’t have a clue as to what a podcast is, how it works, or why they should care. It wasn’t until I spent some time with my son a few months ago that I realized that podcasting and the iPod would absolutely change the world. That’s right, this WILL change the world.

Podcasting is revolutionary because it fundamentally changes the way we get audio and video programming, as well as it dramatically increases the variety of content that is readily available and easily accessible. While it may not kill cable or satellite TV for a few more years, it’s as important as Nikola Tesla’s invention of radio frequencies in 1891 which led to the modern AM/FM radio, or as the practical birth of television in the U.S. following World War II. Podcasting is going to change the way we communicate in much the same way as the Internet has fundamentally changed the way we share information via email and web sites.

The Death of Radio
As podcasts become better produced and more mainstream, radio as we now know it will quite likely become a thing of the past. Even with advances in satellite technology giving birth to XM and Sirius radio, podcasting will soon become the preferred way for people to get their daily audio content. The reason is simple; I call it the phenomenon of personalized content. You listen to the programming you want to listen to, when you want to listen to it, rather than programming the major networks decide you should listen to.

Today’s radio programming is based on what the producers believe will attract the largest number of advertisers or advertising dollars. Consider the recent Don Imus affair. Why was he fired? Because the advertisers pulled the plug on him, not because the networks really care about racism or moral values. Imus has been insulting people for years. MSNBC and CBS pulled the plug on Imus because their advertisers left in droves following his remarks. It really is that simple. For more perspective on the Imus matter, check out this article by Neal Zoren. I think he hits the nail on the head.

Regardless of how you feel about Imus and his remarks, the point is that when large corporations decide on the radio and television content our choices will always be limited to programming that makes them the most money. Period. Podcasting is going to change this. Why? Because anyone can produce a podcast with very little investment in equipment and achieve international distribution overnight thanks to iTunes and the Internet. No longer does anyone need to count on large corporations to get their programming distributed. No longer do you need deep pockets to produce quality programming and achieve worldwide distribution.

So, what is podcasting and how does it work? For the best description I’ve found, check out this web site on podcasting and RSS feeds. RSS feeds are the fundamental technology underlying podcast distribution. Do yourself a favor and download iTunes, the free program from Apple that you use to subscribe to podcasts and sync them with your iPod.

After installing iTunes on your Mac or Windows PC, spend some time looking at all of the podcast programming available from the iTunes Store. This is all free content and you simply need to subscribe to these different “shows.” Try things! Subscribe to a variety of content to see what you like. Once you’ve done that and the content is synced with your iPod you’ll have megabytes of audio programming that you can listen to when and where you want. It’s absolutely amazing, but you don’t realize how cool this is until you get your iPod and start looking for programs you want to listen to. You need to experiment with many different programs to see what you like. When you subscribe to a podcast you don’t like, it’s very easy to delete it.

Many people who own iPods don’t even realize that podcasts are available for their iPod. Many think the iPod is just for listening to music. Wrong. I use the iPod just as much for listening to podcasts as I do to music. I’m canceling my Sirius radio subscription now that I have my music collection in iTunes and on the iPod. I’ve loaded all my music CDs onto my computer and I’ve also purchased a few choice albums from the iTunes Store. Some are a real deal at $9.95.

I have my iPod connected to the radio in the truck by connecting the headphones jack on the iPod to the Aux jack on my radio. Alpine has a very cool head unit available from Best Buy for your vehicle that gives you the ultimate iPod control while driving. The times they are a changin’.

What about Television?
The same way that audio podcasts will fundamentally change how we listen to audio programs, video podcasts are quickly coming into their own as well. With the overall increase in Internet bandwidth, video podcasting is quickly increasing in popularity. The problem with video podcasts is that they can only be played on your PC or the tiny screen on your video iPod. Most people aren’t interested in watching video this way. We much prefer getting our video from the TV in the family room. Enter Apple TV.

The first commercial solution to easily watch video podcasts on your TV was introduced this year by Apple. They call it Apple TV. While this is a first generation device, it’s revolutionary in that it provides a very easy way to play video podcasts on your TV without any special computer knowledge. I bought one a few weeks ago and I’m blown away by the potential of this device. Others will undoubtedly follow from other manufacturers and the market will mature. The only problem right now is that the content is limited, but this will most defintely change in the next year or two. Hundreds, if not thousands, of individuals and companies will soon be producing hi-resolution video content for Apple TV that will again change our viewing habits in the coming years. Very cool stuff.

Tune in and Stay Tuned!
I hope to find time over the next couple of months to share much more information with you about the how-to’s of podcasting, as well as some cool podcasts I’ve come across. It’s a very exciting time to be alive as we witness the evolution of the Internet and all that it promises in terms of staying connected with one another. Do yourself a favor and take the time to learn more about this. Buy yourself an iPod if you don’t already have one and load up some podcasts to see for yourself why this technology is fundamentally changing how we communicate and share information.

Thanks for visiting and come back!